Wow, has the blogosphere been quiet since Thanksgiving! Either the tryptophan has put us Yanks to sleep or everyone is exhausted from shopping their hearts out on Black Friday. I, for one, didn’t step foot in a store, but I did buy a new iPod (on sale, mind you) from the online Apple store. Merry Christmas, Melanie!

In any case, I am back from spending several lovely days in the great Michigan woods with my family. Finally rested, I think I can get back to blogging and bring you this weekend’s mash-up.

1. Is Santa too fat?

In the seemingly unending stories about how UK children are hovering on the line of obesity (or toppling over it, as some would argue), a mall in England has ordered its Santa to slim down. Bluewater Shopping Centre is running a Santa boot camp to help Father Christmas lose a few for the holidays. The manager quipped, “We want to make sure Santa is fit so he can deliver all the presents.”

Isn’t this taking it a bit far? i understand the message that they’re trying to convey, but what child ever says “Gee wiz, I can’t wait to grow up and look fat like Santa Claus!”

via FitSugar

2. Boost your Wifi MacGyver-style

Are you one of the unlucky souls who just can’t seem to get a strong enough signal off of your wireless router? A how-to video from Metacafe says that all you need is half a Coke can and a hole punch to solve your problem. The end result makes your router look like a mini satellite dish.

Metacafe via Apartment Therapy: Home Tech


3. “I’m sure your kids are ok”

A blog that I’m officially in love with, The Leaky Brain, recently cross-posted a missed connection that she put up on Seattle’s Craig’s List. I’m posting it in full, because it’s brilliant and I’m not sure all of you would click through to her page (even though you should).

@ 7-Eleven ON SATURDAY

Reply to: leaky brain
Date: 2007-11-12, 3:31AM PSTYou were a frazzled mother who asked me to look after your kids so you could go inside the convenience store and get some milk and food. I didn’t want to agree, but I felt really bad, so I said yes. I shouldn’t have because I didn’t like your kids. Frankly, they were all unattractive. How come there were so many of them too? One of them was clinging to my leg, begging me for something to eat. I didn’t know there were any gypsies in Seattle, and the whole thing grossed me out.So, listen, when my ride came to pick me up, I didn’t have any choice but to take your disgusting kids with me because I looked inside the store, and I didn’t see you. I put them in the backseat, and gave each one of them a Xanax. That quieted them down a bit, but one still insisted on singing happy-sounding songs, so I put some super minty chapstick under his eyes, and that seemed to make him shut those lids tight. I was glad too because your kids were looking kind of haggard; clearly they needed sleep.Anyhow, I drove them to a really pretty place. It was some sort of old quarry pit, and it was filled with muddy water. There were lots of rocks around, and I thought they could play and have a good time. I mean, how cool? No lifeguards or adults to boss them around. Once the Xanax wore off, the oldest-looking one thought it would be fun to swing from some power cables that were hanging down from these big posts. It looked fun with all those sparks shooting everywhere. They sure seemed happy, especially when some coyotes came out of nowhere to play with your dirty kids, but I was running late for a massage appointment, so I had to leave them there. I’m sure your kids are ok. I wish I could tell you exactly where I left them, but honestly I just wasn’t paying that much attention. I gave the smallest one a half-eaten Power Bar I had in my car. She wanted the beef jerky and butterfingers I had stashed in my glove compartment, but I told her absolutely not. I hope you find your dirty kids.

  • Location: SEATTLE, WA.
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 476264764